Truth Alone Triumphs

Image Copyright © U. S. Pandey
Image Copyright © U. S. Pandey

There was this ordinary man who having found an ordinary job found himself an ordinary girl who became his wife. Man’s parents were miffed as they had queued up several astrologically perfect girls for him to choose from.

The man and wife moved ahead in worldly ways and were happy discovering the joys of being with each other. However, within months of their coming together, the girl started having nausea and discomfort in her bowels and it became necessary to visit a doctor.

The doctor made a speedy diagnosis and prescribed a few more tests whose results the man gathered in the evening. Partly surprised and partly shaken at the speed of it all, the man smiled as he read the radiologist’s report: ‘Twin pregnancies seen.’

Many frightful and harrowing days lay ahead of the young couple as the girl battled fever and searing pains due to certain complication. Gradually, they progressed to the days when the girl could feel the new lives stir in her belly and their joy knew no bounds. They fancied the young ones preferred different music as they moved to either Hindi or English tunes.

For reasons best known to them, these fetuses were in a hurry to have a peek at the world. They triggered so many ‘labour pains’ in their mother when they were barely six months old, the doctor shook her head in dismay at the girl’s ‘over-distended uterus’ and kept her fingers crossed.  By the time she was admitted to the hospital for the third time, the twins had entered the eighth month of existence and the doctor couldn’t stop them anymore.

The girl’s mother took pity on her and rushed to her side in the moment of need. After a night full of suspense, pain and trepidations, two puny girls emerged, alive and kicking from their mother’s womb. Being grossly underweight at the time of birth, they were whisked away to the neonatal Intensive Care Unit. But the man and his wife were thrilled to have successfully added two new members to their family, perfect in limbs and shape, after all that scare.

That same morning, the man was struck by two different tenors of felicitations doing the rounds in the maternity ward. Families of the women blessed with male babies were being greeted a lot more warmly, even by the hospital staff, than those who had borne female babies. Congratulations to the parents of twin girls were gift-wrapped in consolations and future hopes. The man was shocked when even his kind mother-in-law was a tad crestfallen.

The two daughters that they brought home from the hospital turned out to be magical creatures indeed. They were weak and they needed a little more care but they never troubled their parents unduly, as if to compensate for the harrowing times they had given to them before birth, and as if they knew of their precarious position in the world. To their parents’ amusement, they continued with their separate preferences of Hindi and English music.

Time rolled on and they started moving around in the world together. And many were the times when people sidled up to the young parents to tell them to stop gloating and have a son. Sadly, most of these counselors were women and while some were sad and gentle, some chose to be unabashedly atrocious. Then there were other young couples too, who happened to have sons and who, for all their advancements, behaved as if they had bred Achilles again.

The more such men and women piqued the young couple, the more they dug their heels and held their own, never even thinking of procreating again. By the time their daughters touched their years of teens, people had learnt enough to leave them alone or face a severed relationship.

Today, however, the father of the two wonderful girls, never having given two hoots to the sick ideologists, stumbled upon a much-awaited television show called Satyamev Jayate. It turned out to be a program that tore open the carrion of female infanticide and associated crimes on women and he sat down to pen this post on his proud journey to fatherhood.

131 comments

  1. I have no words to say except this–I am so proud of you, so proud that fathers like you exist!!! May there be more examples like you, USP!!!!

    1. I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Bhavana. And I truly wish people held their ground in the face of the twister.

  2. That was a wonderful journey recounted so beautifully! I remember you talking about the reactions of close relatives to your having had daughters. I am so glad there are fathers like you who make this world a little nicer to live in. So the girls still love Hindi and English songs? 😀 Which one likes which?

    1. Yes, Zephyr. I knew you’d know what I was driving at right from the word go! Thanks for your kind words. They have changed a lot and both of them now love good music, Hindi or English.

  3. Nice to learn this titbit and the steadfastness you showed in the face of demeaning society. Its a time of change in India and time of brave and open discussions questioning needless and toxic old values. Let us hope for a more balanced future society, respect for all women who have swam against the tide and shone widest their best.
    One day when your girls achieve greatness you can call all the naysayers and convey how u were blessesd with them.

    1. Arun, our society is at a tipping point from where it may rise again or slip into a hopeless abyss. I have never felt the urger to explain myself to the naysayers and hopefully, they will be eating back their own putrid ideas.
      Thank you so much for your thoughts.

  4. All the best to the lucky girls! I have only one daughter and we are a happy family!
    I need to watch this new show everyone is talking about!

  5. It’s a proud ‘Father’ can think & act like that,
    Good wisher to father & daughter’s..Oh the Writer.:)

  6. When half of the nation is against the birth of a girl, even forgetting the fact that they were given birth by a woman, you and many like you are living examples of divine humanity sir. Respect is what both of you deserve. All the best wishes.

  7. My heart gets very troubled when I hear about Baby Afreen and Baby Falak. I hate this discrimination when a girl child is born. I am very happy for you, your wife and for your beautiful twins. 🙂

  8. glad to know this; proud of you! As of today, I knew nothing about you other than your blog URL. Hopefully, we will get to know more about you through your blog in future. Loved this wonderful post!!

    1. Deb, I am so sore about the whole thing that I couldn’t resist writing a post about it when I saw that program aired today. Thanks for loving it.

  9. An absolutely heartwarming post, with a concentrated BOO to those who kept commenting in stupid ways. Many folks agree intellectually , but are unable to handle emotionally, the pressures of not having a son. A great big pat on the back to you and the missus. My best wishes to you and your three stars !

    Stars
    messing around in constellations
    playing games
    with the lives
    and minds
    of some folks
    who are confused about Suns and Sons.

    And then,
    some
    brilliant musical
    perceptive stars,
    who actually came in pairs
    to light up the lives
    of two wonderful people,
    and continue
    to be the best,
    the brightest
    and happiest today.
    thanks to their wonderful parents …..

    1. After I’ve written a post, I wait for your comment the way I used to wait for Vivian Richards in a West Indian innings. And just as with Richards, I grope for words after every appearance. May God Bless kind souls like you. Thanks for the kind words and that ‘BOO’ to the detractors!

  10. Thank God for people like you. You are right about the pride of those who are blessed with a boy. I think ‘achievement’ have a different meaning in their dictionary. Enjoy the journey with two beautiful daughters and God Bless!

    1. Saru, you have aptly said that the word ‘achievement’ has a different meaning in their dictionary. Let us just follow Suranga and float a big BOO towards them! Thank you so much.

  11. Am so proud to have known a father like you. My own father had 2 girls and not once have I heard the words “If only you were a boy.. ” or “If only we had a son” in our house. My father is one proud father too and he loves us for who we are! I am so glad for your daughters and wish that more men be like you!

    1. Also, do read my viewpoint on my blog – about the first episode of the show. Would love to hear your thoughts on it.

    2. Deepa, it is heart-warming to learn about your proud father; hats off to him. Many thanks for your kind words to me. Let us carry on the spirit ahead together.

  12. All I can say that the man and his wife are indeed blessed to have twin wonders. I fail to understand the obsession with boys…Look around and it is obvious that it is the girls who are taking care of parents and making them proud. My only brother lives abroad and I took care of my ailing father during his fight with the dreaded C and now I take care of my mother. Of course with the help of my husband. God Bless the twin fairies.

    1. Alka, you are a glowing example of how precious a daughter could be, standing by her parents through thick and thin. I still remember your poignant post about your father and forgive me for asking whether your brother loved him more? And I also remember how you’ve transformed your mother into a computer savvy lady. This is apparently not a criticism of your brother who has settled abroad and is probably leading a very busy life. But wasn’t that a critical part of the equation instead? That, the sons would take care of the ageing parents in the hours of need?

      May God Bless your family too. Thanks for your kind words.

  13. Such a cute post.
    When I had a son, to tell the truth I was sad. I had so much wanted a daughter 😀 And now that we have a son, we are advised to have a daughter and ‘complete’ the family.

    1. Thanks Bhagyashree. Sons and daughters are one and the same. While one may wish to have a son or a daughter, the concept of a ‘complete family’ is fraught with risks. 🙂

  14. We only talk about doing great things but seldom do.And here you are who has not only done a great thing but is inspiration for millions others as well. Feel proud to have known you.

  15. In our society sons and daughters are not treated at par except the wise parents. However, parents also are carried away by the thought of others and start doing discrimination. Few can come out like you.

    1. Pradip, it is true many people lack the spine and buckle in the face of the collective agenda. I believe those are really unfortunate humans as they allow the wolves to cloud their souls against their true grain.

    2. There indeed are. But in our obsession with highlighting the negative, we forget the good ones whose stories will serve as inspiration. That is the sad truth of activism.

  16. A very illuminating post USP and am happy that your posts echo my sentiments too on this emotive issue!Strangely my post today also is on same issue as a coincidence , perhaps:)

  17. a big happy and proud smile on my face. for the way you relived your daughters’s births and for the way you took off from the show and penned this post

  18. This is such a positive and heartwarming post ! We so badly need more like you Umashankarji ! Kudos to you and your wife !

  19. I’m glad you held on to all the three girls in your life so tightly, giving them support and caring for them unconditionally. Wish there were more like you!

  20. Admirable thoughts Umashankar jee,your girls look so happy & confident…..may your tribe increase !

      1. And please count my respected father too—i was the youngest of 3 sisters,& i was born in 1944,yet he gave me the best possible education,trusted me enough to let me go to co-ed summer camps & all alone to Baroda for my field work….i really admire him.

  21. It is so heartwarming to read posts like these. I am the third daughter and always wanted to have two girls. My first born is a boy and knowing my desire to have girls, my parents even prayed that my second child is a girl. And she is. Nothing completes a family like a girl child. The thought of the crimes being committed against them is unbearable. I missed the show, I am waiting for a rerun.

    1. You are indeed blessed to have a cherished daughter. I am very pleased to learn of the special status you accord to the girl child though I tend to believe that both boy and girl babies are one and the same. Thanks for reading and commenting at the blog.

      1. For a long time it was believed that it is better to have boys. Then why is it difficult to accept the fact that the girl child is better even for a few minutes? Yes, both are equal yet completely different. Haven’t you heard the Mars and Venus story. 🙂

  22. nice post usp, u are not an ordinary man..my best wishes for both of you and your lovely daughters…..enjoy your world.

  23. Being proud parents of two daughters (not twins, though), we can personally connect to your story. Nothing against boys – my parents had two sons and no daughter – but those who do not have daughters do not know what they have missed !

    1. Sir, I am proud to be part of the club and I believe in each and every word said by you. Thanks for being both a friend and a guiding light.

  24. The twin girls. So nice to hear a little more about them.
    Ah! and this post is overflowing with the love the man has for his princesses. Aren’t you one proud daddy! 🙂

  25. Oh Dear! Thats one beautiful post and it seemed to flow straight from the heart…Blessed are the two little ones for having you as their dad and I know how precious they must be…Happy parenting!! The line ‘who happened to have sons and who, for all their advancements, behaved as if they had bred Achilles again’ made me smile ….

    1. Thanks for your kind words, Jaishvats. Sadly, the line about Achilles is so true and I reckon you won’t have to travel far to meet such a sight.

  26. Beautiful post. I never really realized the importance of ‘a son’. I am an only daughter and my parents were more than happy to have only me! SMJ has done a good job of bring about awareness. You can officially look down on the people who asked you to have a son!

    1. Its ironic that a reality show hosted by a popular movie star should lend official status to an outrage of epic proportions! Yet, that is what Satyamev Jayate seems to have done, at least for the moment. For the sake of sanity, let us hope we never look back again. Thanks for the support.

  27. So wonderful, Umashankar! Kudos to you and to dads like you. Even though I was on vacation, I looked forward to Aamir’s program and had tears in my eyes many times during the show. I am actually at a loss of words of what to write here. Suffice it to say that your post moved me. I remember that you had shared how people point out to your two girls and nudge you towards having a boy in one of your comments.

    1. So nice of you to have come and liked the post and having remembered what I may have said somewhere about this deep rankling heart-sore of mine. Thank you for your kind words.

  28. Feel so good to have parents like you guys around…quite a heart-felt post….when my daughter was born, even I experienced typical weird comments…i did a post abt it sometime back…

    I loved SMJ’s first epi… 🙂

    1. I will surely check out your post on it. Never mind these vermin. Allow me to quote Nietzsche

      “Yea, my friend, the bad conscience art thou of thy neighbours; for they are unworthy of thee. Therefore they hate thee, and would fain suck thy blood. Thy neighbours will always be poisonous flies; what is great in thee–that itself must make them more poisonous, and always more fly-like.”

      Thanks for the compliment.

  29. Such a heartwarming post ! Loved it !
    My father had 6 daughters and he would very proudly introduce us to his friends adding with a smile always “I’m a much daughtered man, but not a battered man !”
    The first episode of Satya Meva Jayate was both engrossing and moving…a promise of what’s to come..

  30. What a beautiful post! Congratulations to you and your wife for having these lovely girls. A friend once told me having a little daughter was like having an eternally blooming flower at home. Which heart is not humbled by a blooming flower? Bravo to you and your wife for humbling hearts around you too.

  31. Beautiful, beautiful post!!! I am a daughter, and a mother. I have a sister, my only sibling. And I relate to this post as any daughter would!! God bless!!

  32. Superbly written, Sir. This is an issue which deserves immediate attention of one and all. It basically requires a complete change of mindsets of people in our country… and this is the reason, we might lag behind in the world…

    1. Welcome to the Blog, Pawas! The ‘issue’ in question has spread far and wide like a pestilence. I really don’t know what is going to bring about that ‘complete change of mindsets’. Let us for the moment hope, the charm of Mr Amir Khan stirs the comatose Indian souls.

  33. The relationship a father has with a daughter forms her foundation to many important decisions in her life. Good wishes to your family 🙂

  34. I saw Satyamev Jayate’s first episode. It was electrifying. Like the audience and Aamir, I was crying helplessly, shocked that it was the educated who indulged in female infanticide. I was glued to the entire programme. It was a very well researched programme. On a happier note, the twins in the photo look adorable, proud daddy.

  35. A pertinent post when so-called educated crowd in the cities are indulging in such atrocious behavior of preferring a boy over a girl child.

  36. Being the mother of two cute girlies, I found nothing new while going through your blog. It all happened to us when we were also advised to go for the third child but to the utter disappointment of the advisers. Difference between your case and mine is that, my mother never dared to say such a thing, either due to fear or the pride she accrues from me……. I am very confident that my daughters are going to bring such name and fame which shall leave all my advisers ashamed for their ill thought……. The other aspect which leaves me very satisfied is that God has left no scope for me to take out my inner frustration, insecurity, dependence or whatever, on any daughter in law….. Time shall reveal that we are going to be the happiest person.

    1. Jaya, I’m also not surprised you didn’t find anything new in the story. It is a rampant disease and many parents of daughters would have faced identical reactions. May God bless your daughters.

      If the other aspect of the situation put a deep smile on my face, it also put deep lines of worry on my forehead!

  37. i never found anything unusual having two daughters and no-body ever said anything to me. i don’t know, may be they were too afraid (holmes fear) to say anything to me.

    1. Dear Holmes, it is not hard to understand why people dare not utter a word to you. It is your deep love and protectiveness towards the girls that seals their mouths. Also, I believe your formidable grimace plays a significant part here too.

  38. A touching post…. It is always nice to hear a loving father’s perspective. Us being two sisters too, I know what it feels like to be taken under the wings of a father.

  39. Very well written. The amazing parents are to be congratulated for fiercely defending the twin girls. Daughters are in no way inferior to sons . In fact girls are more affectionate and more attached to parents. Boys fly away from home leaving the parents stranded in their old age.

    1. Don’t the girls fly away too? Wasn’t this one of the basic reasons why we had started valuing the sons more? It sounds so mean, selfish and bitter but it is probably true. But with the boys flying away faster and farther from the parents and girls taking more care of their parents, hopefully the tide will turn. Thanks for the compliment.

  40. Maybe this is a tale about an ordinary man and an ordinary woman. Perhaps for some it is an ordinary tale, an old tale. But for me it is an extraordinary tale narrated with extraordinary sensitivity and candour. I salute the extrordinary parents. And of course, the extraordinary writer of this post. 🙂

  41. Very well written, I got a chance to read your post after a long time today … I too have two lovely daughters .. and I can actually understand your experience … its no surprise I too face similar sighs and gasps often … well keep writing.

    1. Thank you for returning to my blog, Riaeva. I am glad you identified with the post. I trust you also don’t give two hoot to the detractors.

  42. Congratulations on having twin daughters. They are lucky to have father like you. Change needs to come to accept girl child and people like you part of it.

  43. Congratulations that you are a proud dad…all my life I wanted a baby boy as we are two girls for my parents and I have seen the kind of life my mom suffered. And god bless me, I had a lovely boy. 6 six years later when I had my daughter, I was even thrilled. 2 years after she was born, all I could say to myself is : “I wish Rushi (my son) was a girl too…life would have been much easier”…:)
    I watched few mins of that program in a hurry. It was pathetic. Need to finish. I think I finished reading all your latest articles. When’s your next one coming up? 🙂
    Btw, I am happy for your daughters. May they make you proud each day!

    1. Latha, that may be a pathetic program but this nation would be grateful if that just proves to be the tipping point. Something has to give!

      Thanks for your kind wishes and may your son and daughter make you proud each day too!

  44. Beautifully written. When it comes as an endorsement from someone who has been there and faced that, it becomes more poignant! 🙂 I could do with a bit of easing off of theatrics from the Bollywood Khan..But thanks to him, I feel a lot of topics that are usually discarded as being not one that concerns the educated middle class or things that happen in the ‘more aware’ society!

    1. Hello, Deepthi, where have you been? Thanks for appreciating the struggle of one grain amongst the storm! As for Mr Khan, let us just hope the concoction of “theatrics” and the mauled humans at his show wakes up the dead souls of our dense countrymen. Lets us just hope it is a voodoo that works!

  45. For me t’was not satyamev jayate which opened my eyes as these issues were long known to me and needless to say, dreaded my thoughts.

    There was a very painful movie called Mtrubhoomi that captured the same thing and Pearl Padamsee’s “home truth”columns in Femina did lot to my awareness.

    The point I am trying to make is-
    1. You write beautifully, consistently.
    2. I am scared for all the girls known/ unknown to me as the society is truly not matured for them.
    3. Female infanticide is definitely not acceptable but as a woman, I am scared to bring a daughter to battle with this troubled world. As a sister, friend, aunt…am scared and wish to earn a lot of money that can aid in for safety/ well being of girls in my home.

    1. Thanks for the compliment, Numerounity. I agree with you about the awareness of the issue. The rot is too widespread to have remained under covers before SMJ happened. It had ceased to be news. It still is no news. The nightmare continues. I have seen the movie you talk of. It was painful, as you say. I really don’t know what to say to your apprehensions. I am at a loss of words.

    2. Numerounity, I too used to be scared for myself and all the other girls… Not any more. There is a way to skillfully grow out of this… Love you!

  46. kamal karte ho pandeyji 🙂 🙂 🙂 last mein pata chala ki yeh toh aapki icch kahan hai .. 🙂 🙂 dono ki pic bhi sahi hai !!

  47. A post straight from the heart of a proud father 🙂 btw have never been a great fan of the show ..can relate more with this post as woman and a mother of two boys who always longed for a girl 🙂

  48. That is a wonderful story, thanks for sharing. We are two sisters too, and my little sister still remains the apple of eye. We were blessed to have parents who brought us up with so much love and respect that I did not even know about girls being unwanted in our society till I was almost an adult. I grew up to be the strong, happy and content person I am, without ever having received any special treatment or education, thanks to my parents and my sister. My best wishes to your family.

  49. Jealous, Green with envy!

    I have a son, proud of him .. I wanted a son, not because I dislike the girl child, but because I wanted to restore some sort of parity in the family. There are so many women around. 🙂

    I had great fun bringing him up … I doted on the little fella and proudly presented him to the world. Then he grew up, dusted his butt and shipped out. Now, he doesn’t even answer calls. 🙂

    I have two nieces, absolute darlings … they are the ones who keep in touch. I am sure you are basking in the glory of being dad to two lovely young ladies – your article proves it.

    Wishing your family good times.

    1. Ha ha! Can’t blame you for wanting a son among all those women! And I am sure you love you darling nieces as well as you dote on the guy who doesn’t even answer you calls! May God bless your son and nieces and you too. 🙂

  50. You are such a wonderful man! As a woman who has a father never learned to appreciate his own daughters, I appreciate your loving nature. You daughters are lovely, and I know they are lucky to have a father like you. (Of course, the right way to say in the first place is, parents are lucky to have them. )
    Thanks for sharing this. And I know, in a cultural ideology that favor male offspring, it is a brave thing to do.

    1. Yun, I have always been one grain amongst the storm! The situation isn’t always a fulfilling proposition, but I am gladly proud to be so in this case.

      I am sorry about the indifference of your father -I have seen that happening often. It’s just tragic.

      Thanks for those kind words.

  51. Uma, thank goodness for fathers like you. I love the way you and your wife have politely said, “Fuck you” to such an outrageously discriminatory cultural norm. You’ve given your girls not just the gift of life, but the gifts of self-confidence and independence that come from recognizing their own self-worth.

    1. Kris, I get incensed at the slightest whiff of the upholders of such discriminatory cultural norms, and so does my wife. Thank you for those words -it can’t get straighter than that!

  52. Umashankar, what an excellent and heartwarming post about your proud journey to fatherhood! Twins, so eager to see the world albeit a bit premature. I love the energetic spirit inside them that made them want to get out of the womb and see the world, like Now! Fascinating how one twin still prefers Hindi music and the other English music. It’s so sad, tragic really, that male babies and female babies are viewed differently there, and I know that happens in many countries, it’s so wrong! Your daughters are absolutely beautiful! You and your wife are truly blessed.

    1. It’s sad but it is the norm out here in a major chunk of the populace. Thank you, so much, for those beautiful words, Madilyn.

  53. I came across this post by co incidence and found so many coincidences —-parents of two happily married career conscious daughters we too had to fight many a battles trying not to listen to “well wishers ” asking us to go in for a son ironically these included my own mother ,and our family doctor , while discouraging us from taking any such foolish step was my mother in law .

    Today God has gifted us with the happiness of having our daughters as neighbours with grandchildren to give us company..Probably because we never belittled them for being girls and never craved for a son .We welcomed Gods gifts as blessings .

    And yes the hospital staff ( did) used to be so sympathetic while handing over our bundles of joys to us.

    1. Your account doesn’t surprise me at all, and makes me proud. The roots of the gender based bias are obnoxiously stubborn. Unfortunately, many times women are their own enemies. Congratulations, and thanks for sharing.

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